So today my dad decided to take me to one of the casinos near the lake to check out the poker room. As it turns out, casinos are really really depressing. The place (and every other casino I've ever been to) was dark and smoky, and nobody was smiling. People were sitting at slot machines, collapsing their spines, drooping their shoulders, dumping coin after coin into noise factories, and frowning. Frowning while playing a game. One guy had just hit what seemed like a substantial jackpot on his machine, and he just scooped his winnings into a little plastic cup, scowling the whole while as if hitting such a big payout weren't the reason he sat down to play in the first place. The whole place was just so damned gloomy that my dad and I decided to just get something to eat at the restaurant and leave. By the way, if you don't think I'm serious about eliminating all migraine triggers from my diet, you should know that I told the waitress to hold the gravy (16) on my mashed potatoes. Hold the gravy. If that isn't serious, I just don't know what is.
So, this whole experience at the casino made me give up on the idea of ever really giving poker a serious shot as a profession. Why would I want to spend a lot of time in a place where people are miserable and I'm unable to do anything to cheer them up? I already had other reasons for not wanting to play poker seriously. This last one just pushed me over the top. First off, I wouldn't really want that kind of lifestyle. Crazy hours. No real security. Questionable company. Who needs that? Also, I sometimes have a moral issue with playing poker. If poker is indeed a game that favors players with skill, and if I am indeed a player with skill, is it right for me to use that skill to take money from people who don't have that skill? Isn't that kind of like a scam? I know that bad players know the risk when they sit down at a table. But I'm not sure if they really believe in the risk. I think a bad player probably sits down to a table convinced that something good will come out of the session. Isn't that how con artists work? Don't they take advantage of people's hope for something better. . . But I still enjoy the challenge of poker, the thrill of figuring out an opponent, the agony of not figuring out an opponent. It can be quite rewarding. . . The last of the reasons that I shouldn't be a professional poker player is that it doesn't really create any good or service. Isn't that what money is supposed to be exchanged for? If I win a big pot, what does the loser get in exchange for the money he just gave up? I think maybe I would rather spend my time trying to make something of use than trying to take something of use. . . I'll probably still play from time-to-time. I just won't pretend like I'm doing anything more than playing a game. . . Does this mean I should cross out number 1?
I felt really good after running this morning (17). It reminded me of a stupid little joke I half remember from when I was a kid:
Person 1: Why do you keep hitting yourself with that hammer?
Person 2: Because it will feel so good when I stop.
I know I haven't been back at the running for very long, but it feels like I'm already getting to the point where the run itself isn't as excruciating and the feeling afterwards is pretty amazing. Like I'm powerful, substantial. So I just have to keep that feeling in mind on the days when the running part is a struggle.
10. 13. 16. 17. Yogalates
24. cleaned
I'm grateful for Little Miss Sunshine and all the people who recommended that I see it (20). All the characters are so flawed and beautiful and. . . I should stop before I go spoiling things for anyone who hasn't seen it yet.
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3 comments:
So glad you watched Little Miss Sunshine. It's funny, endearing and thought provoking. I think most families are like that. F-ed up, but functioning.
Makes me think of you and this blog a little bit. Most people feel like you do right now at some time in their lives. Not liking where they are and wanting to make changes. I'm glad you're making changes. Most people never get past the wanting part.
So I guess that means you won't be needing anybody to go with you to Vegas as part of your posse?? I was kinda looking forward to that....
i'm relieved to hear that you too found casinos so depressing. my sister and i went to one in detroit, thinking we were going to have a great time but just walked out after 20 min of seeing too many desperate looking people shooting us unfriendly looks. that said, vegas is still an experience i would recommend - it's worth going just to be thankful you don't have to stay :).
besides that, i really can't picture you being a professional gambler, much for the reasons you spelled out (betterment of society, etc. etc.). granted i haven't really seen you too much since you were about 12 yrs old, but even still!
on the flour everywhere note - i highly recommend cooking (especially baking) as a great way to spend free time. it's very rewarding to create something after a mere 1-2 hrs (or more depending on how ambitious you are) and then on top of that, you get a tasty reward, too! keep up the good work and keep us posted of your growing specialties.
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