I'm such a fucking poser. All talk. Bullshit. . . Last night I was all about getting a job nailed down today. And today I started off well. I got my portfolio virtually finished. But then something happened. I stopped doing stuff. . . I mean, I did a little. But nothing toward the job. Nothing substantial. I just let the day fade out. Then in the evening I got this panicked, whatthehelliswrongwithyou, whatareyouwaitingfor kind of fire going in my belly. The fire felt good. I had it when I started this process a few weeks ago. I felt so good for the first couple of weeks. Then that burning started to die off a bit over the past week. I felt it going away, and I didn't know how to get it back. Now it's here again. I need to use it while I can. I found a few more job postings tonight that I need to do something about tomorrow. So if you see me and I don't have a satisfactory response about these jobs, kick me in the ass. Literally or figurativly.
I'm grateful for scented candles (20).
2 comments:
Dude, it happens. Sometimes the day just fades into oblivion. It's good that you're down about it, because that seems to have fired you up. It's bad if you get too down about it, because it's easy to slip back into old habits.
You're working so hard on so many different aspects of your life that a smoldering fire for day can spring back to a roar the next day with a little effort. People love you and are trying to blow on your embers. Your fire will reignite, stronger than ever!
This is so cheesey. I hope I didn't bring on a migraine with all my cheese.
heh. Cheese is a trigger. But I've been spewing some cheese for 22 posts now, so even if you were being a bit cheesy, we are by no means even on the who's-cheesier-than-whom tally board. Thank you for the encouragement and the reminder about not staying down. Sometimes gravity makes being down such an easy option that I just recline right into it. (my cheese owned your cheese)
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