Off the wagon

I've been having a lot of caffeine lately. Silly for someone with anxiety and head issues, I know. But a lot of the things I do don't really make sense. . . Anyway, at first I didn't notice any negative effects, so I kept having a coffee in the morning and maybe one more caffeinated drink and/or some chocolate throughout my days. Is caffeine one of those chemicals that slowly builds up in your system? Because I never increased my intake, but over the past few days I had been jittery and stressed up to an extreme even by my standards. So today I decided to cut out the caffeine, which of course led to a lovely headache for much of the day. Why oh why am I so dense? I always have to make the same mistake at least a dozen times before I even realize that it is a mistake. Then I have to repeat the mistake a few dozen more times before I finally understand that I need to change something. You know that myth about goldfish that says that they have such poor memories that by the time they swim a circle around a fish bowl they've already forgotten what was in the bowl, so the little colored rocks and the bubbling treasure chest with the assorted bones are always new and interesting for a goldfish even though the goldfish has seen those things for all of their existence? Well, on Mythbusters they disproved that myth by actually training goldfish to go through a simple maze over the course of a month (?). Does that mean that goldfish learn faster than me?

I'm' grateful for The Office (20).