blame Wal-Mart

All right, so I got off from work at 11:30 and then went to Wal-Mart to get some snacks and due to the fact that neither of the two open check-out lanes seemed capable of actually checking out people, I'm not really in a blogging mood. I'll post something tomorrow during the day. I've got plenty of time.

I'm grateful for cran-raspberry Gatorade (20). That's right: cran-raspberry! I didn't know until tonight, but it may be my new favorite of all the -ade varieties, including lemonade.

some quick math

Okay, I've done some calculating and it turns out if I jammed the maximum hours I can work in one month at the paper into one week, I would still be working part time. Five hours a week. Five? Somehow, when the editor told me that once I got into the swing of things I would be able to work pretty much any time I want, I thought it meant I would be working a few more than five hours a week. FIVE. This news on top of the fact that the guy didn't tell me what he wanted in a preview until tonight after I'd finished writing my second preview, has me annoyed. Lots of quotes. Why not just say, "I want lots of quotes." There's more to it than that, but I don't really want to go into it any further. It's just frustrating how poorly the expectations of me have been communicated. I know some of the issues are mine. I should stand up and say, "What the heck do you want from me?"

I kind of blanked out for five minutes here. I'm not really sure how to wrap this up. So I'll borrow an ending from some of the best fiction ever written:

The End

I'm grateful for happy endings (20).

um

Let's pretend like I've written something brilliant here.

I'm grateful for a vivid imagination (20).

Gone like the Oreo

Why do people always insist upon screwing with the things I love.

No work until wednesday

I guess I really am going to have to get another job. My boss said that once things got going, I would probably be able to work as many nights as I wanted. But he only has me coming in on Wednesday and Thursday this week even though pretty much all of the fall sports seasons have started. Grrr. . . now that I have a work, I want to be working. . . I know. I know. Patience. But I want this job to be an experience for me rather than for my resume. I want to learn. I want to write on a deadline. I want to be able to say without qualifications that 'I'm a writer.' I want to type or re-type things. I want to answer phones. I want to fetch coffee. I want to fill out forms with my social security number so I can get paid. I want to respect my boss for something more than just his experience. I want to stop feeling transient. I want to stop complaining now. . . I am better off than I was a few weeks ago. I tend to expect everything to miraculously fall in line once one thing goes well for me. That's not really the way things work though.

I'm grateful to have some kind of work to be frustrated with (20).

Everything's coming up Procrastinator

Today was good to me. My first article ran in the paper. I wasn't expecting it to feel as good as it did to see my name followed by my words in a newspaper. After all, it's a small-town newspaper that I believe every member of my family, including myself, has made fun of at some point or other. But it still felt good, like progress.

The goodness of the day also included the arrival of my new cell phone. So I now possess something that could potentially make everyone in a movie theater think that I'm an inconsiderate asshole. But damn is it cool.

Today also ended with some Halo. I don't know if you guys have figured this out yet or not, but I like Halo. It's fun. You get to blow stuff up and stuff.

I'm grateful for good news about a doctor (20).

Typer

I'm not going to write much tonight. The paper was having some technical issues and needed someone to retype a bunch of stories, and I got the call for that task. I haven't mentioned this, but the last time I went to the driving range (crabbycrabby) I think I may have done something to my wrist because it has been sore ever since. And today while I was typing, that wrist started to really hurt and eventually went completely numb. So that was fun.

Today I turned in the article I wrote on the interview I did last night and the editor, no wait, my editor said that it was quite good. He said that he really liked my lead, which was something he had criticized about the little writing audition thing he had me do last week. But I didn't feel too bad about the criticism because at the time I didn't really know what a lead was. Now that I know what a lead is, I'm glad to find out that I can indeed write one.

I'm grateful for feeling useful (20).

Reporter

Ugh. I just finished my first phone interview for the paper. It was simultaneously harder and easier than I had expected. The conversation flowed fairly easily, and I wasn't ever at much of a loss for what to say. However, I did stammer a few times, but I sometimes do that when speaking to people I've known my whole life. The hardest part for me was keeping up while taking notes. I'm slow with the pen, and this coach was giving me a lot of great stuff, and I just struggled to keep up. I actually missed out on some things, but I managed to capture enough for this story. . . heh. . . I just deleted a few lines in which I described a funny little exchange I had with the coach because as I was typing it I realized that maybe it was more of a youhadtobethere kind of funny than a greatformyblog kind of funny.

Anyway, I'm feeling really good after tonight. I can do this. And I will probably enjoy doing it. And I'm grateful for that (20).

I got nothin'

. . .

um

. . .

I wrote some today. Went for another walk. Looked in to apartments a bit more. Seems like the apartments in the area kind of suck. Mostly college housing where you don't rent an apartment you rent a room and share living room, bathroom, and kitchen. Or it's not taken care of by previous tenants and current management so it's a big craphole. Grrr. I might end up living in someones basement or in a mobile home outside of town. I'll find something though.

It's my brother's birthday. So happy birthday (20).

Today and stuff

Anyone else notice how today kind of sucked? The weather's been crap for what seems like weeks now, and my head has not been enjoying it very much. So today I slept in, played online poker, watched tv, went for a walk, and. . . well. . . that pretty much takes us to right now. Oh, I did get my cell phone ordered. So. . . um. . . yeah. . . I can't really pretend that that's a big accomplishment. . . But the walk was nice.

I'm grateful for walking (20).

Ah crap!

I forget. I had something planned to post tonight. But I can't remember what it was. Nothing major. But. . . I can't remember. Anyway, I'm back at my sister's until tomorrow morning. It's strange: I moved away from here, and a few days later they came to where I went. Then they came back here, and a few days later I ended up here as well. I'm not sure what that's all about.

Oh yeah. Anyone watch the Lions tonight? How many times do I have to say it before you believe me? The Lions are going to win the next Super Bowl.

I'm grateful for misguided, team support (20).

I'm tired

Get it? Tired? I just got a new set or tires on my car. Get it? You people have no sense of humor. . . Sigh. I also got new brakes in the front and an oil change. Hmmm. . . seems like I'm spending money as though I actually had some. Maybe some day I will.

I'm grateful for Trogdor the Burninator (20).

Ahh weather. . .

If you're reading this and you're in Michigan, I hope you went outside today for longer than it takes to travel between a car and a building. The weather here was exactly perfect by my standards, so perfect, in fact, that I actually left during the Tigers game to go for a walk and be out in the glorious goodness. During the walk, I came down the street that, when I was a kid, my family would walk down on the way back from a trip to Dairy Queen. So much has changed since then that I was surprised that one sight that should have changed hadn't. The house that always had kid toys (big wheels, miniature furniture, plastic slides, and whatnot) in front of it still had kid toys in front of it. Grandkids maybe? Or just a new owner? I don't know.

A little bit farther down the same street and the scent of dryer sheets reminded me of my gooddearfriend. I used to visit her on laundry nights, and the vent for her dryer blew out over the entrance to her apartment, so that scent will probably always be connected to her. It's strange how strongly scent is connected to memories. My sense of smell is probably about as bad as it can be, but still certain smells remind me of certain things. The smell of cedar reminds me of Christmas because the trunks my mom kept all the Christmas stuff in were cedar on the inside. . . I think. . . Maybe what I think cedar smells like is actually some totally different wood. . . Cigarette smoke reminds me of a crush I had in high school. Mildew reminds me of the first apartment I had because I never washed my one and only towel. And dryer sheets remind me of my gooddearfriend. Go figure. I'm sure there are more. But you get the point. Was there a point? Nah. Sometimes I digress just so I can use the word 'digress.'

I'm grateful for smells (20).

OhMyHolyMaryMotherOfWhatTheCrap

So today was pretty good. I slept in latelatelate. I ate donuts. I played with my niece and nephew. I played some online poker. I got a job. I ate pizza. I watched Last Comic Standing and Top Chef. And, did I mention that I got a job? Because I got a job! Igotajob! igotajobigotajobigotajob. I! GOT! A! JOB! igotajobigotajobigotajobigotajob. Breathe. . . I. . . breathe. . . got. . . breathe. . . a job. . . phew. Now that that's over I need to start looking for another job because this one is just part time and I'm not even sure how much I'm going to be paid. But it is a writing job. I am a writer. Actually, I'm a journalist. A sports journalist. Basically, it sounds like the majority of my work will consist of answering phones on high school game nights and getting the various scores and stats from the local teams and then doing quick little write-ups of the games. From time to time, though, the editor says he'll occasionally ask one of us to do a longer piece on some issue (like the big deal with girls' high school sports here in Michigan), some person, or a game that he'll have us attend. So cool. I'm a writer. I've actually got my first assignment. Next Wednesday I'm going to get the contact info for one of the area football coaches, and I'm supposed to do a preview of that coach's opening weekend game. The article will then run on Friday. Cool. Cool. Cool. I'm a writer. I am a writer. WRITER. WRITER. WRITER. Sorry. I just realized that this is the first time I've been able to say that and actually had a credential to back it up. Okay, so it is a part-time writing gig at a small-town newspaper. But that's more than I had yesterday.

I'm grateful for twinsissy who told me about the job posting in the first place (20).

Mr. Crabby Pants

I was in a bad mood today because I was hoping to know whether or not I had a job by now and whether I should start looking for an apartment in this town or intensify the job search and also we've had people staying here for a while and I've been sleeping on the spare bed and so my back has been sore since Sunday night and then this morning we had donuts and I love donuts but when I eat them I feel all sick and heavy in the stomach but I eat them anyway because I love donuts and then I couldn't take a shower because of something having to do with laundry and then people were taking showers and I wanted to take a shower because I'm two and I only want things that other people have but then I got distracted (I get distracted a lot) and didn't want a shower but then I did want a shower but couldn't have one because someone was taking a nap and then I went and pouted at my laptop for a while until I was notified that company would be over in a few minutes which was apparently the worst news I could ever hear because I was really upset that there was going to be company and I wasn't going to have showered and it was everyone else's fault that I couldn't get in the shower and I was completely blameless in my dirtydirty state but I did end up getting into the shower before the company got here so the world didn't end after all and then company stayed for quite a while and then z-man and I went to the driving range and I was really bad and there was some kid younger than my underwear hitting irons longer than I could hit a driver and I didn't like that and I drove home like I was in a bad mood and then when we got home I realized that someone had parked in my spot and that too was a tragedy beyond anything I should ever have to face and I drove like I was in an even worse mood and turned the wheel a little harder (maybe a lot harder) than I should have and ended up popping a tire on the curb and then my brother and z-man helped me to change the tire and it was easier than I thought it would be and went much quicker because of the help but how the heck am I going to pay for a new tire or a whole set of new tires actually because my old ones have been bad for longer than is prudent and then we ate dinner and it was really really good and all the nieces and nephews were around and the adults got to me more than the kids because there were so many don'tdothats and stopits all at once and then so much nothing during similar incidents but then there was dancing and it was fun with kids and grown-ups doing the chicken-dance to the music playing out of a cell phone and then there was fun disco music and laughing and dancing and singing and all around goodness and then the in-town niece and nephew went to their own house and I read books to Elephant and one of them was about interrupting and while I was reading it she said "Excuse me," because that's what the book says you're supposed to say if you need to interrupt someone so she said "Excuse me," and I said "What?" and she said "I love you lots and lots" and I said "Why thank you. I love you lots and lots plus one" and she said "I love you higher than space" and I thought "Why do I let myself get so crabby?" and then she went to bed and Granderson made an awesome diving catch in the bottom of the eighth and then I learned that white wine goes a lot better with donuts than most people would probably think and then Sheffield singled in the go-ahead run in the top of the tenth and then Maggli-OH! and the Tigers won.

And now you know the (ir-)rationale behind my bad mood.

I'm grateful to have a forgiving family (20).

Um. . . okay. . . maybe I lied a bit

On Saturday I promised to have a story to tell today. Well, I have an unfinished story to tell. I thought I would be able to tell you that I either got or did not get a job at my hometown newspaper. Unfortunately, the man I was supposed to meet with had a family emergency, and our meeting has been postponed until Wednesday. However, I did get some good news on the matter. I'm not entirely clear what the job I'm seeking actually entails, as the posting was quite vague and the man I've been in contact with has been quite vaguer, and originally I thought it would be a crap gopher type of job, which I'm willing to do but was hoping for more. But now it sounds like the job is going to require at least some writing. So even if it is a crap writing job, it's still a real writing credential that I can put on my resume and use to get a good writing job if I'm not satisfied with this job. Wooohooo! I'm all atwitter with excitement. To make things even better, it's in the sports department, and I either follow or have followed at one point or another pretty much all of the major sports. Except NASCAR. But we all know that that doesn't really count anyway. So it's not only a writing job, it's a job writing about a subject I enjoy and am interested in. Did I mention Wooohooo? Because I meant to. I know I haven't gotten the job yet and that even if I do get the job, it won't be much or pay much to start with. But it is a start. And for me that's something.

I'm grateful for amazingsunnydays (20).

When children's games go wrong

Good God, no, Simon did not say to do that.

All the nieces and nephews gathered today, and, as kids that age tend to do, they went crazycrazycrazy. When a bunch of kids get together and hyper, it's fun watching the grown-ups try to figure out which of the things that the kids shouldn't be doing they're actually going to try to stop them from doing. They want to pound on the coffee table with wooden spoons and spatulas? Sure. They want to tackle each other then pile on top of one another? I'm sure they won't hurt each other too much. Even though there were a few times when I expected to see them walking around, chanting "Kill the pig!" I had a great time watching the madness.

However, when the tackling and wrestling got to be a bit much and the adults needed a little peace and quiet, I decided to play some Simon says. That worked for a few minutes. Until Simon said to give each other a big hug. Did I mention that a big hug is what had led to the tackling and wrestling in the first place? What was Simon thinking? 'OK kids. Now I want you to stop playing that game where you pretend like you're hugging when you're really trying to knock each other over. Instead, let's play this other game in which I tell you to hug.' Brilliant. It may be the first time in history when Simon has actually lost a game of Simon says.

I'm grateful for Wendy's salads (20).

Soon

I don't have much to write about from today. I should've done more. I can't make any promises about tomorrow. Monday, however, I should have something to write about. I'm not sure if it will be something good or something bad, but it will definitely be something.

I'm grateful the Tigers won one for a change (20).

Closed

Gone Haloing
Back Tomorrow

I'm grateful for fiddle faddle (20).

Pure Cheesy

First off, did any of you see the Lions game tonight? Wow. You read it here first folks: The Lions are going to win the next Super Bowl.


A good chunk of the day was characterized by the monotony of Internet job postings. I found a few new opportunities to go after, but I also found some opportunities that I've already gone after. I'm always a little disappointed when I find that the job I've applied for has been re-posted, especially when I haven't heard back from the potential employers. Oh well.


Remember when I used to quote song lyrics at y'all? Well, instead of doing that, tonight I'm going to share some links to videos of two of my new favorite artists.

First off is a live version of "Paris is Burning" by St. Vincent. I love watching her play the guitar.

Next is a video by Fionn Regan.

I hope you enjoy.

I'm grateful for my new musical crush, Annie Clark (20).

Emotions

Today is a bit hard for me to write about right now. I'm such a jumble of whoknowswhat that I'm having a hard time sorting things out. I'm sad. I'm disappointed. I'm hopeful. I'm happy. I'm expectant. I'm doubtful. I'm tired. I'm confident. . . I am confident. . . That's good. . . I'm back at my parents's now. I pursued two jobs today. I left one voice-mail message that hasn't gotten a response yet, and I sent one e-mail that got a computer-generated response indicating that the addressee would not be checking her email until the fourteenth. Damn. Both would be great opportunities for me, but I'm feeling so impatient right now. Don't these people know that the world revolves around me? Why aren't they sitting in their offices and waiting for me to contact them? Why aren't they coming to me and just handing me whatever job I want? . . Yeah. My impatience is irrational. A job search takes some time, and I've only been fully committed to mine for a short while now. But grrrr, how much longer is this going to take? Are we there yet?

I'm grateful for nieces and nephews (20).

My last day

As today is my final full day staying with my sister's family, we all pretty much blocked it off for a fun day. Those of you who know my family well, know that if today was a fun day, it must've started with donuts. And it did. Donuts followed by cuddling on the couch while watching The Little Mermaid. Next was the driving range. Then Whac-A-Mole, Don't Break the Ice, and Old Maid. Next was a quick game of the newest edition of NCAA football. Then the zoo. We thought the kids would enjoy the zoo. We thought wrong. The kids kind of had a "Let us know when you're done looking at the tigers. We'll be playing in that puddle over there." sort of attitude. But I still had a good time. Then we had a picnic in the living room for dinner. Then came ice cream because a fun day must include ice cream. Next it was the kids's bedtime. I tucked in Elephant and read her a story and all that. After that, things got really crazy around here. We broke out the new eighties version of Guitar Hero and all hell broke loose. . . And, in brief, that was today.

I am grateful for "The Warrior" by Scandal (20).

That's inappropriate

If I were told to synopsize my life, the phrase 'a string of inappropriate decisions' would more than likely appear in it. Today, I've made yet another inappropriate decision. I'm going to temporarily, temporarily, move back into my parents house. . . What? But Procrastinator, that seems like it's the exact opposite of number 8 on the list. Yes. Yes. You do have a point there. However, right now I am concerning myself most with number 2 and number 12. And, while I love my sister's family dearly, with two kids who are under five living in the house, I'm having a hard time focusing on my writing and the job search. I am extremely grateful for my sister, her husband, and their kids for allowing me to stay with them for this length of time, and I regret the unpleasantness I know they all experienced as a result of the funk I've been in during this whole 'list' process of mine. If I could, I would just get myself an apartment and not impose my temporary nastiness back on my parents. But I have no idea what city the job I end up getting will be in, and I don't want to deal with breaking a lease two weeks into it. So yet again, I'm going home. . . again.

It is a bit sad for me, though. My sister and her husband have been amazing, patient, supportive, distracting when I've needed it, and so much more. And the kids. . . hmm. . . I've just stared at the screen trying to figure out how to explain what they mean to me, and I don't know where to begin. Probably the only way they could mean more to me would be if they were my own kids. I'm going to miss the whole bunch of them.

If you can't tell who I'm grateful for tonight, then . . . (20).

A lesson from mother nature

Some weekends I fill in and deliver papers, and this weekend was one of those weekends. The way it works is that I pick up the papers on Saturday night and then roll them and can deliver them either Saturday night or Sunday before noon. So Saturday I rolled the papers and then decided to just kind of dick around and waste my time and then deliver the papers in the morning. Mother nature saw this behavior and said, "You silly, silly procrastinator. Haven't you learned? Well, maybe a little cold downpour will teach you about not putting off until tomorrow what you can do today." Needless to say, I got pretty wet this morning.

Later on in the day, I took my niece for a walk in the cemetery. Maybe that sounds a bit morbid, but the cemetery is just down the street from here, and she loves going there. Today, perhaps because of the rain, the flowers that loved the tombstones were especially pretty (heh, at the writers conference they said not to use generic descriptions like 'pretty,' oh well), and my niece had to smell all of them. She would run up to a patch of flowers. "Don't step on them," I would warn, but she would always stop just before doing any damage, crouch at the knees, and then hold her hair back to get a real good whiff. "They smell so beautiful." It's funny, I always thought that you were supposed to stop to smell the roses. I guess running to smell the roses isn't such a bad strategy either.

I'm grateful for a job posting that has me quite excited (20).

My semi-anniversary

So, if I'm not mistaken, today makes six months of this blog thing I'm doing. What have I done with my time? Sometimes I think I've done lots of things that I probably wouldn't have done otherwise, yoga class, poker tournaments, a week with a bunch of writers at Wesleyan, a 5k, etc. But other times I think, "Is this all I can do in six months?" I seem to have accumulated a bunch of false starts over the past half-year. Is life like the Olympics? If I have too many false starts, will I get disqualified? I hope not. That would suck. . . Heh. The brilliant~ writer really dug deep for that last sentence. . . Anyway, on my halfiversary I've decided to renew my vows if you will and re-dedicate myself to updating this thing on a nightly basis. . . even if all I have to write is, "Damn. I should've done more today." I've actually done lots of stuff and then procrastinated writing about it until the stuff was too far in the past for me to really feel as though it was any longer relevant. Of course, if I'm truly going to be honest, there've been a lot of times during that same stretch when I've not done stuff at all. So, and I'm writing this more for my sake than for yours, no more notdoingstuff. Lots more writing.

I think I've used this one before, but I'm grateful for everyone who reads this (20).