Best laid plans

Alright, so today I was planning on getting up early (nope). Then I was going to try to eat a nice nutritious breakfast (uh-uh). After that I was hoping to write for a little bit (I still hadn't gotten out of bed at that point). Next I would go to yoga class (I did do that). Following yoga I was going to write some more (almost) and then eat a good lunch (does devil's food cake with carmel and crushed up bits of Butterfinger count?). Then I would run two miles instead of the one and a half I've been going lately (didn't want to do it, so to get it over with quickly I wound up nearly sprinting to start and too winded to continue by the time I was a few blocks away). Finally, I would update the blog and write for the rest of the afternoon (I am updating the blog, so, almost). What did I do today instead? Online poker. Yup. I've been stinking up the virtual tables of questionable legality. I'm having a low self-esteem day as a writer. I look at the most recent additions to the book and think, I'm going to have to completely eliminate or rewrite all of this crap. So, instead of facing that, today I'm ignoring it. I'm taking a day off from writing. I don't want to hate writing. I don't want to depress myself or make myself feel inadequate. Why would I want a career in something that had such a negative affect on me? I wouldn't. So, instead of forcing myself to fill whitespace with word combinations that never should exist, I've been playing poker. I'm a little worried that poker is going to become my new TV, a retreat away from whatever sucky part of my life I'm exaggerating and obsessing about. I'll keep an eye on it. I don't want to be too comfortable slipping away from reality at a pretend poker table, but for now I think I want to play a little more.

I'm grateful that I now have a real bed with plenty of storage for underwear and books and whatever else I've been keeping in the basement (20).