Ok. Here I go again. So I've been thinking about the whole graduate writing program thing. And I think it's maybe not the best next step for me. The only reason I would want to go back to school right now is to obtain a jobgettingdegree. I've already determined for myself that a writing degree is not a jobgettingdegree. So why should I get another one?
After realizing this and deciding that I don't want to spend more than two more years in school and don't want to pile up more debt, I've spent much of today at the nearby community college's website, perusing their program list, deciding which ones seem like good job getters and also have some sort of appeal for me. Here's what I've narrowed it down to at this point:
Nursing: I could be an LPN in one year and an RN in two.
Computer Information Technology: I could earn one of about half a dozen associates degrees in two years or less.
Legal Assistant: I could be a paralegal in one year.
Radiologic Technology: I could be a radiographer in less than two years.
So, that's where I stand right now. I don't want to take too long to make the decision of what I'm going to study or if I'm going to study. So I've made June 14 my deadline for deciding, but I hope to decide before that. But first, I'm going to mull things over a bit. I've also sent an email to set up an appointment to discuss my options with an academic/career advisor. If any of my dear readers out there have any advice or information on any of these fields or opinions on how I would get along in any of them, feel free to speak up. Any viewpoint would be greatly appreciated.
Heh, what a lame paragraph. Maybe I should study writing a bit more.
I'm grateful for euponiums (that's right, euponiums) (20).
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Willy Loman?
I went to yoga class for the first time in several weeks. For some reason, I feel as though the instructor has taken an interest in my development as a person as well as as a yogaer.
-----That last sentence is kind of awkward and bad. But when I went back to adjust it, I kind of fell in love with the last nine words. First off, four of those nine words are 'as.' Another is 'yogaer.' As if that weren't enough, the number of words between the ases lessens with each occurrence of the word (i.e., as word word as word as as). Sweet. I'm sorry, I just can't change a happy little accident like that.-----
She's always asking what's going on in my life and giving me advice. Each class, she has a little life lesson that she's gotten from some reading or experience or whatever that she passes on to the students. And today's lesson seemed like it was aimed directly at me. Before class, I had told her that I was still looking for work, and then during class her little gem for the day was that sometimes what you have to do is concentrate on making the right next step. Don't worry about the twentieth step, just make sure the next one is a good solid step. She looked at me a lot when she was saying this. I'm not going to dissect how this lesson applies to me because you can all probably figure it out by applying some fairly basic deductive reasoning to the name of this blog.
So today I was wondering, what would be a good next step for me careerwise? And I didn't know. I have a lot of hobbies, writing, reading, playing guitar, running, doing yoga, and playing poker, but none of those skills seem quite at the level of career-skills at this (heh, if you get ahead of yourself while typing the word 'this,' you end up with a swear) point in time. Maybe writing. Maybe. And then I started thinking, what about sales? Job listings always seem to be jammed full of sales positions, and I've avoided them like a urinesoakednerfball. I've always hated the idea of a job in sales. H-Ah-Ate-ed. But the thing is, it's just the idea of sales that I hate. I've never actually had a job in sales. How can I judge whether I'll like it or not? So, in the next few days I'm going to pick out the sales postings that look the most appealing (as well as any other postings that I may be suited for) and apply like I mean it.
By the way, I stopped by a couple of the music stores in the area today. They're not hiring. But I got to talking with missingtoothedrepairguy at one of the shops, and he told me the name of some good books on guitar repairs. I've always been interested in guitar repair, but never actually pursued that interest. So now, thanks to that very nice fellow (20), I know where to start. Heh. Another hobby for me. Woohoo.
I'm grateful that I'm going to be eating Chinese food in the very near future (20).
-----That last sentence is kind of awkward and bad. But when I went back to adjust it, I kind of fell in love with the last nine words. First off, four of those nine words are 'as.' Another is 'yogaer.' As if that weren't enough, the number of words between the ases lessens with each occurrence of the word (i.e., as word word as word as as). Sweet. I'm sorry, I just can't change a happy little accident like that.-----
She's always asking what's going on in my life and giving me advice. Each class, she has a little life lesson that she's gotten from some reading or experience or whatever that she passes on to the students. And today's lesson seemed like it was aimed directly at me. Before class, I had told her that I was still looking for work, and then during class her little gem for the day was that sometimes what you have to do is concentrate on making the right next step. Don't worry about the twentieth step, just make sure the next one is a good solid step. She looked at me a lot when she was saying this. I'm not going to dissect how this lesson applies to me because you can all probably figure it out by applying some fairly basic deductive reasoning to the name of this blog.
So today I was wondering, what would be a good next step for me careerwise? And I didn't know. I have a lot of hobbies, writing, reading, playing guitar, running, doing yoga, and playing poker, but none of those skills seem quite at the level of career-skills at this (heh, if you get ahead of yourself while typing the word 'this,' you end up with a swear) point in time. Maybe writing. Maybe. And then I started thinking, what about sales? Job listings always seem to be jammed full of sales positions, and I've avoided them like a urinesoakednerfball. I've always hated the idea of a job in sales. H-Ah-Ate-ed. But the thing is, it's just the idea of sales that I hate. I've never actually had a job in sales. How can I judge whether I'll like it or not? So, in the next few days I'm going to pick out the sales postings that look the most appealing (as well as any other postings that I may be suited for) and apply like I mean it.
By the way, I stopped by a couple of the music stores in the area today. They're not hiring. But I got to talking with missingtoothedrepairguy at one of the shops, and he told me the name of some good books on guitar repairs. I've always been interested in guitar repair, but never actually pursued that interest. So now, thanks to that very nice fellow (20), I know where to start. Heh. Another hobby for me. Woohoo.
I'm grateful that I'm going to be eating Chinese food in the very near future (20).
Monday, May 28, 2007
Real post
So here it is, as promised, a real post. . . I think I'm just going to go through the list and tell y'all my progress on the items I've been working on lately.
2. I haven't written as much in the past week as I would like. But I am writing fairly consistently and am relatively pleased with my progress. I am going to need to edit the shit out of most everything I've done, but that's to be expected. In the middle of next month, I'm going to Connecticut for a weeklong writers conference. I'm really excited about it. First off, I'll be staying with my aunt and uncle, and I'm looking forward to getting to know them a bit better. But I'm not sure how much time I'll actually get to spend with them, because it looks like the conference has events planned from 9 in the morning until 9 at night. But I'll probably skip out early a night or two so I can visit. The conference itself sounds really good to me as well. There will be seminars and readings throughout each day, several publishers and agents will be around for chatting up, and there will be people available to evaluate manuscripts. Plus, I'm looking forward to meeting other writers. I've not found writers in this area that I've really been able to connect with. It seems like all the writers I've come across are obsessed with publishing. Yes, I know one of my major life goals is to publish. But I want to create something good first, then see if I can publish it. In the writers group I went to, several of the people had self-published, and I looked at some of what they had published, and it seemed like stuff you'd get in a freshman creative writing class. When the group evaluated each other's work, the advice seemed more geared toward "How can we make this more publishable" instead of "How can we make this better?" Maybe the difference between the two isn't that big. I'm probably just a bit snobbish on the subject. But. . . what was I talking about? Right. Yeah conference! Should be fun.
3. I need to amend this list item:
3.1 Update the blog
10. I haven't been doing much yoga lately. I do meditate most days. But I haven't really been doing the yoga as much as I should or would like. I have no good reason for not doing the yoga. I just haven't been doing it.
11. I'm going to Connecticut in less than a month. I went to Saugatuck/Douglas on Lake Michigan at the beginning of last week. It's strange. I used to really hate the sun (headaches) and the beach (sand in the shoes). But I spent all day on Monday in the sun on the beach, and I loved it. For the most part. . . No headaches. Who cares about sand in the shoes?
12. Um. . . I don't really want to talk about the job thing right now. But, my brother-in-law and I are tossing around the idea of starting up a business. This plan probably won't really be acted upon for a while though, so I still need to find work in the meantime.
13. I think my nerves are getting quite a bit better lately. I have a lot more good days than I do bad. I think my progress is probably due to the fact that I'm doing stuff rather than sitting around, ticking, ticking, ticking.
16. Maybe there was nothing wrong with my head to begin with? I haven't been sticking to the diet. I'm not on any headache medication. But my head seems like it's better than I can ever remember it. Maybe the exercise (more on that later) is helping. Maybe I'm just not giving up at the first sign of a headache, not thinking, "Hey, I'm going to have a headache. I better go take a nap."
17. I'm running probably four or five days a week, and I think I'm finally starting to feel real results. I actually feel good during the run, and I have much more energy once I've finished. I didn't run over the past couple of days because of all that's been going on here over the weekend, and yesterday I was just whipped by the end of the day. And I hadn't really done much of anything to wear myself out, but I was exhausted. I think I need that physical activity to keep me energized.
20. Even when I'm not posting, I make sure to do this one every day.
21. I'm such a dick.
22. I play too much poker online.
23. I'm not performing yet, but I am trying to build up a repertoire. I want to have at least ten songs that I can play or sing on the guitar ready at any given moment. That way, when I'm somewhere where there's a guitar (it seems like there's always a guitar) and people say 'Play something,' I won't have to either fumble through the first half of something I never quite mastered or decline playing all together. Right now, I have one classical piece almost completely memorized and learned, and I've mostly learned another that I now just need to memorize.
24. Yeah, yesterday's party kind of demolished my room/the toy room and I've only about half cleaned the place.
26. I don't think I pace as much as I used to. But I do still pace. The only difference is that now sometimes my nephew joins me. He thinks it's a fun game that his uncle likes to play. I wish everyone viewed it this way.
27. I'm frequently challenging myself in my running and guitar playing. Other than that, I think life has been challenging me enough that I don't need to add to it too much.
Alright, that's it for the real post I think. Thanks for reading.
I'm grateful for the sun (20).
2. I haven't written as much in the past week as I would like. But I am writing fairly consistently and am relatively pleased with my progress. I am going to need to edit the shit out of most everything I've done, but that's to be expected. In the middle of next month, I'm going to Connecticut for a weeklong writers conference. I'm really excited about it. First off, I'll be staying with my aunt and uncle, and I'm looking forward to getting to know them a bit better. But I'm not sure how much time I'll actually get to spend with them, because it looks like the conference has events planned from 9 in the morning until 9 at night. But I'll probably skip out early a night or two so I can visit. The conference itself sounds really good to me as well. There will be seminars and readings throughout each day, several publishers and agents will be around for chatting up, and there will be people available to evaluate manuscripts. Plus, I'm looking forward to meeting other writers. I've not found writers in this area that I've really been able to connect with. It seems like all the writers I've come across are obsessed with publishing. Yes, I know one of my major life goals is to publish. But I want to create something good first, then see if I can publish it. In the writers group I went to, several of the people had self-published, and I looked at some of what they had published, and it seemed like stuff you'd get in a freshman creative writing class. When the group evaluated each other's work, the advice seemed more geared toward "How can we make this more publishable" instead of "How can we make this better?" Maybe the difference between the two isn't that big. I'm probably just a bit snobbish on the subject. But. . . what was I talking about? Right. Yeah conference! Should be fun.
3. I need to amend this list item:
3.1 Update the blog
10. I haven't been doing much yoga lately. I do meditate most days. But I haven't really been doing the yoga as much as I should or would like. I have no good reason for not doing the yoga. I just haven't been doing it.
11. I'm going to Connecticut in less than a month. I went to Saugatuck/Douglas on Lake Michigan at the beginning of last week. It's strange. I used to really hate the sun (headaches) and the beach (sand in the shoes). But I spent all day on Monday in the sun on the beach, and I loved it. For the most part. . . No headaches. Who cares about sand in the shoes?
12. Um. . . I don't really want to talk about the job thing right now. But, my brother-in-law and I are tossing around the idea of starting up a business. This plan probably won't really be acted upon for a while though, so I still need to find work in the meantime.
13. I think my nerves are getting quite a bit better lately. I have a lot more good days than I do bad. I think my progress is probably due to the fact that I'm doing stuff rather than sitting around, ticking, ticking, ticking.
16. Maybe there was nothing wrong with my head to begin with? I haven't been sticking to the diet. I'm not on any headache medication. But my head seems like it's better than I can ever remember it. Maybe the exercise (more on that later) is helping. Maybe I'm just not giving up at the first sign of a headache, not thinking, "Hey, I'm going to have a headache. I better go take a nap."
17. I'm running probably four or five days a week, and I think I'm finally starting to feel real results. I actually feel good during the run, and I have much more energy once I've finished. I didn't run over the past couple of days because of all that's been going on here over the weekend, and yesterday I was just whipped by the end of the day. And I hadn't really done much of anything to wear myself out, but I was exhausted. I think I need that physical activity to keep me energized.
20. Even when I'm not posting, I make sure to do this one every day.
21. I'm such a dick.
22. I play too much poker online.
23. I'm not performing yet, but I am trying to build up a repertoire. I want to have at least ten songs that I can play or sing on the guitar ready at any given moment. That way, when I'm somewhere where there's a guitar (it seems like there's always a guitar) and people say 'Play something,' I won't have to either fumble through the first half of something I never quite mastered or decline playing all together. Right now, I have one classical piece almost completely memorized and learned, and I've mostly learned another that I now just need to memorize.
24. Yeah, yesterday's party kind of demolished my room/the toy room and I've only about half cleaned the place.
26. I don't think I pace as much as I used to. But I do still pace. The only difference is that now sometimes my nephew joins me. He thinks it's a fun game that his uncle likes to play. I wish everyone viewed it this way.
27. I'm frequently challenging myself in my running and guitar playing. Other than that, I think life has been challenging me enough that I don't need to add to it too much.
Alright, that's it for the real post I think. Thanks for reading.
I'm grateful for the sun (20).
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Real update tomorrow
Yeah. Sorry. It's been a while. I actually saw virtually all of my regular readers today, and everyone was quite tactful. No sowhen'reyougonnaupdate?s or anything like that. It was really good to see everyone that made it to my nephew's birthday party. I know I didn't talk much, but I did enjoy seeing all of you. . . I'm pretty tired from the day's festivities, so I'm not going to really update on my doings. But for tomorrow I'm planning an update full of procrastinating goodness. . . Anyway, in honor of my nephew's birthday, I'll tide you guys over with a story of cuteness.
After all the party guests had left, we were all hanging out in the living room, and I was sitting under the window in one of those sits that's really more of a lay than a sit. My nephew came over and sat in the Elmo chair that was right next to me. It made me feel good when he did this because he sometimes has this way about him that says "I'm sitting next to you because you are pretty neat." So we sat and chilled for a little while. After a bit, he started stretching his legs out on the floor, flexing every muscle in his body, really getting into it, grunting, his face turning red. We couldn't figure out what he was doing at first, but eventually we realized that he was trying to recline like me and stretch his legs out as far as my legs were stretched. Heh. I've noticed that he's taken to mimicking people lately, but this instance is probably the cutest that I have ever witnessed.
I'm grateful for two years of cuteness (20).
After all the party guests had left, we were all hanging out in the living room, and I was sitting under the window in one of those sits that's really more of a lay than a sit. My nephew came over and sat in the Elmo chair that was right next to me. It made me feel good when he did this because he sometimes has this way about him that says "I'm sitting next to you because you are pretty neat." So we sat and chilled for a little while. After a bit, he started stretching his legs out on the floor, flexing every muscle in his body, really getting into it, grunting, his face turning red. We couldn't figure out what he was doing at first, but eventually we realized that he was trying to recline like me and stretch his legs out as far as my legs were stretched. Heh. I've noticed that he's taken to mimicking people lately, but this instance is probably the cutest that I have ever witnessed.
I'm grateful for two years of cuteness (20).
Friday, May 18, 2007
Uncle, aunt, relay for life, and the phone that never rang
A lot has happened to me since my last post. I would hope so. It has been over a week now. It's a bit late, so I'll abbreviate. . . Damn. . . I'll try not to write this whole thing in verse. What could be worse? . . Sorry. . . I'll start with Tuesday (though the past weekend was good to me). My aunt (yes myfavoriteaunt) and uncle were in the state, so I made the trip to my hometown to visit with them on Tuesday. My Aunt and Uncle are in that gargantuan category of people who I should keep in touch with but don't. My relationship with people in this category kind of snowballs in my head. I start to feel guilty about not keeping in touch. Then after a while that guilt turns into a kind of dread. What must they think about this horrible person who won't even email or send a card to people who've played a big role in his life at some point? They must hate him. They'll probably be cranky. Things will be uncomfortable. I should avoid seeing them if at all possible. I actually considered not going to see my Aunt and Uncle on Tuesday. What a dick thing to even consider. I'm so enormously glad that I did go, however. They were so warm and open and caring toward me that I feel embarrassed to have been so misguided as to have thought that the visit would have been anything other than pleasant. They gave me a nice candle and talked me into going to the bigrealdeal writers conference in June. They have a really affective tagteam sales approach. My Aunt is very loud and aggressive, and she kept hammering away at the point, offering to pay and what not. Then when the storm had just started to clear, my Uncle appeared with his soft, low voice, saying "We would really like to see you go to this." That probably pushed me over the edge. I've pretty much snubbed these people my whole life, but they still have enough of an interest in me to not only suggest and offer to pay for this wonderful opportunity, but also to make me feel as if my going to this conference would be pleasing to them, that my doing something toward one of my biggest life goals would make them happy. Amazing. What have I done to earn such affection? Nothing. Amazing. So I have my spot reserved in the conference. I just need to call with my credit card info. Cool.
Wednesday I had an interview for a manager in training program at a local video store. It went alright. The interviewer smiled a lot as if she were really connecting to what I was saying. Then, in the end, she said, "We'll let you know by Friday if we're interested." Well, Friday's almost over. I haven't heard from her yet. I think I kind of missed again. Close. But not quite. I wonder if maybe my problem was that I wasn't entirely honest in my answers. She asked lots of cliched questions like what was the biggest turning point of your life? and who has influenced your life the most? And I lied when I answered both. The answers seemed too personal to be telling some woman I just met (by the way, we did the interview in the store, between a couple of racks of videos with customers frequently passing by). Anyway, so it looks like I won't be working there anytime soon. One thing that kind of sucks about applying to places that you sometimes go, is that if you don't get the job, you never want to go back. I don't want to go in to rent a movie and have the guy behind the counter thinking "Hey, you're not good enough to work here." Ah well.
So I walked in a Relay for Life today. The weather was beautiful. I would've walked for hours, but I was with my sister's family, and we had other things to do. But surrounding the walking area were luminarias decorated in memory, honor, or support of people who have cancer or who have died of cancer. There were a lot of them. It was overwhelming. And they just kept bringing out more and more of them as the afternoon wore on. I. . . I don't know what to say. . . I. . . I had a moment that I can't explain. I saw these little paper bags decorated by the loved ones of people afflicted with cancer, and I felt the love that went into all of them. And I think I felt love for all of them. For those with cancer. For their loved ones. I felt soft and warm and concerned. I felt sad and happy and tired. For a moment, I felt everything.
That's all I got for explaining it right now.
I'm grateful for ice cream sandwiches (20).
Wednesday I had an interview for a manager in training program at a local video store. It went alright. The interviewer smiled a lot as if she were really connecting to what I was saying. Then, in the end, she said, "We'll let you know by Friday if we're interested." Well, Friday's almost over. I haven't heard from her yet. I think I kind of missed again. Close. But not quite. I wonder if maybe my problem was that I wasn't entirely honest in my answers. She asked lots of cliched questions like what was the biggest turning point of your life? and who has influenced your life the most? And I lied when I answered both. The answers seemed too personal to be telling some woman I just met (by the way, we did the interview in the store, between a couple of racks of videos with customers frequently passing by). Anyway, so it looks like I won't be working there anytime soon. One thing that kind of sucks about applying to places that you sometimes go, is that if you don't get the job, you never want to go back. I don't want to go in to rent a movie and have the guy behind the counter thinking "Hey, you're not good enough to work here." Ah well.
So I walked in a Relay for Life today. The weather was beautiful. I would've walked for hours, but I was with my sister's family, and we had other things to do. But surrounding the walking area were luminarias decorated in memory, honor, or support of people who have cancer or who have died of cancer. There were a lot of them. It was overwhelming. And they just kept bringing out more and more of them as the afternoon wore on. I. . . I don't know what to say. . . I. . . I had a moment that I can't explain. I saw these little paper bags decorated by the loved ones of people afflicted with cancer, and I felt the love that went into all of them. And I think I felt love for all of them. For those with cancer. For their loved ones. I felt soft and warm and concerned. I felt sad and happy and tired. For a moment, I felt everything.
That's all I got for explaining it right now.
I'm grateful for ice cream sandwiches (20).
Thursday, May 10, 2007
thorough
There's this one company that I submitted online applications for a bunch of positions to. Over the past couple of months, I've been gradually getting email rejections for each and every one of the positions I applied for. I've gotten so many that I now know the name of the angel of death at this particular company. Every time I get an email from Christina __________ I know that I have once again been rejected for some position I can't even remember applying for. So Christina, I want to thank you. You have now wished me the best in my career search about ten times. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I'm grateful I don't have Christina's job (20). . . Alright. . . maybe that's not entirely true. . .
I'm grateful I don't have Christina's job (20). . . Alright. . . maybe that's not entirely true. . .
low-tech office space scam
If you're like me, you've seen the movie Office Space. If you're even more like me, you've seen it a lot. For those of you who aren't like me, in the movie a group of disgruntled employees contemplate getting even with the company they work for by installing a program that will round all the transactions the company makes down to the nearest penny and then dump all the fractions of a cent into a separate account that only they would have access to. With the number of transactions the company made in a day, their plan would've made them millions, less than one cent at a time, over the course of a few years. . . Anyway, I think I just ran into the low-tech version of that scam. But first. . .
Today I had a craving for orange Gatorade. Which is weird. I don't crave Gatorade. And I can't even remember a time in my life when I've actually consumed orange Gatorade. If ever I was driven to drink Gatorade, it was pretty much always fruit punch that I went for. Even though I don't remember ever drinking orange Gatorade, as I sit here, drinking orange Gatorade, it's exactly what I expected and disturbingly fulfilling. But I didn't start the day with orange Gatorade. I had to go somewhere to get it. So I found myself in a convenience store, a local chain that is more common to this area than Starbucks, trying to get the attention of the man by the cash register who had his back to the entire place. He turned and said, "Don't wake me. It's rude. I don't come to your house while you're sleeping and wake you. Do I?" It was a joke. I think. His face had an almostsmile, and he didn't seem genuinely agitated by my presence. But for whatever reason, he really wasn't pulling off playful. So I payed for my things and waited for my change. Two dollars and twelve cents. As the guy made change, I noticed that he went into the little coin drawers four times, instead of three. Must've missed once. But then he handed me my change. Two dollars and three cents. Hmmm. Then he reached toward his pocket. Interesting. Did this guy just give me a penny instead of a dime and then pocket the dime? I'm almost positive he did. Hmmm. What should I do about it? My first impulse was to puff out my chest and go into my manlydeepvoice and say, "Hey man! What you tryin' to pull?" But then I realized it's just ten cents. Nine cents actually. He probably needs it more than I do. And if he does, I would've emptied out my wallet for him if he had asked. So really, if stealing ten cents from customers helps him to provide for himself and/or his family without forcing him to humiliate himself by asking for a handout, what's the real harm? Plus, I don't even know for certain that he did indeed take the dime. Maybe it was a legitimate mistake. Whatever. I'm fine with my decision either way. Some people might be tempted to point me toward a slippery slope: If you let him get away with something small like this, then he'll just move on to bigger scams. If he does, someone will catch him and stop him. He's not very good at it. I spotted this scam. Me. The guy who didn't notice the horses on his regular running route or the bashedinness of the back of his good friend's car. I'm often not very observant, and I recognized this one.
I'm grateful for orange Gatorade (20). Really. I am. I can't believe it either.
Today I had a craving for orange Gatorade. Which is weird. I don't crave Gatorade. And I can't even remember a time in my life when I've actually consumed orange Gatorade. If ever I was driven to drink Gatorade, it was pretty much always fruit punch that I went for. Even though I don't remember ever drinking orange Gatorade, as I sit here, drinking orange Gatorade, it's exactly what I expected and disturbingly fulfilling. But I didn't start the day with orange Gatorade. I had to go somewhere to get it. So I found myself in a convenience store, a local chain that is more common to this area than Starbucks, trying to get the attention of the man by the cash register who had his back to the entire place. He turned and said, "Don't wake me. It's rude. I don't come to your house while you're sleeping and wake you. Do I?" It was a joke. I think. His face had an almostsmile, and he didn't seem genuinely agitated by my presence. But for whatever reason, he really wasn't pulling off playful. So I payed for my things and waited for my change. Two dollars and twelve cents. As the guy made change, I noticed that he went into the little coin drawers four times, instead of three. Must've missed once. But then he handed me my change. Two dollars and three cents. Hmmm. Then he reached toward his pocket. Interesting. Did this guy just give me a penny instead of a dime and then pocket the dime? I'm almost positive he did. Hmmm. What should I do about it? My first impulse was to puff out my chest and go into my manlydeepvoice and say, "Hey man! What you tryin' to pull?" But then I realized it's just ten cents. Nine cents actually. He probably needs it more than I do. And if he does, I would've emptied out my wallet for him if he had asked. So really, if stealing ten cents from customers helps him to provide for himself and/or his family without forcing him to humiliate himself by asking for a handout, what's the real harm? Plus, I don't even know for certain that he did indeed take the dime. Maybe it was a legitimate mistake. Whatever. I'm fine with my decision either way. Some people might be tempted to point me toward a slippery slope: If you let him get away with something small like this, then he'll just move on to bigger scams. If he does, someone will catch him and stop him. He's not very good at it. I spotted this scam. Me. The guy who didn't notice the horses on his regular running route or the bashedinness of the back of his good friend's car. I'm often not very observant, and I recognized this one.
I'm grateful for orange Gatorade (20). Really. I am. I can't believe it either.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Back home
I'm blogging from the floor of my parents' living room. I came to town to visit with piwok and her husband, her parents, my parents, and my brother and his family. We had a big gathering and watched the Red Wings and the Tigers, ate too much food, talked and laughed, and watched the Belgian Farting Pig (sigh). I can't remember how long it's been since I've seen piwok, and it was amazingly good to see her. She says wonderful phrases like, "I think fart jokes are funnier than he does." I hadn't had a chance to really get to know her husband prior to this weekend, and I'm glad I finally got to spend some time around him. I think the two are good together. They both have similar senses of humor and rag on each other with equal (but playful) intensity and have their own little language that they occasionally have to translate for outsiders. It was fun watching them together. Piwok talked me into reconsidering graduate school again. Even though it's past the deadline that I stated before, I'm pretty sure I could still get admitted if I get on top of things right away. So I guess I'll go for it. What's the worst that could happen? I don't get accepted? I do get accepted? I realize that I still don't like MSU? I realize that I now love MSU? Would any of these outcomes be that horrible? I think I could probably deal with any of them. So. . . Here we are. Right back where we started. Just apply you moron. Then see what happens after that.
I'm grateful for yesterday (20).
I'm grateful for yesterday (20).
Friday, May 4, 2007
Selling myself
I just sent out another cover letter (12), and I'm a bit uncertain of it. It's a bit more aggressively mememe than I usually make my cover letters. I've mentioned in the past that I have issues with promoting myself, and I'm wondering if maybe this fact has something to do with my inability to find employment. So with this one I decided to go all out with lots of I'mgreats and lookwhatIdids. I'm so unaccustomed to writing in such a way that I'm not sure if I'm going to come off as confident or as overcompensating. But I needed to try something different this time. I hope it works out.
I'm grateful for friends, family, and strangers (20).
I'm grateful for friends, family, and strangers (20).
Thursday, May 3, 2007
The King at his best
I'm stalling. I was working on my book (2.1). . . ech. I hate the sound of that. My book. Now that I've done a little exploring into the local writing community, I've run into so many people that like to toss that phrase around. My book is about 20,000 words, so it's more of a novella, or is it novelette? It only cost me $5,000 to get 200 copies of my book published. My book is a period piece about a Victorian chimney sweep. mybookmybookmybookmybook. I don't know why, but it rubs me wrong when I listen to people talk like that. Hypocrite I guess. . . Anyway. I'm stalling. I was working on my latest writing project, and I did what I usually do: I go good for a half a page to two pages; then I have a little hiccup; then I stand and pace for a bit; then I irrationally and unrealistically build whatever I've just written into a masterpiece that I cannot possibly equal; then I get a kind of writing fear that tells me if I mess with it any more, I'll just ruin it. Why do I do this? First, nothing I have ever written is anything that even resembles a masterpiece. Second, if something I wrote was a masterpiece, it stands to reason that I should be able to create another masterpiece. Once again my rational self and my emotional self are in conflict, like a north-going zax and a south-going zax, neither wanting to budge, both freezing while life builds up around them. . .
I feel I should write about the concert I went to last night. Kitty Donohoe. It was good. Really fun. . . Nice description from the 'writer,' huh? She sings a lot of songs about Michigan and a lot of Celtic songs and a lot of traditional songs and a lot of traditional Celtic songs. The first hour of it was recorded for radio, but they never told the audience when it was going to be on, so if you want to listen, you'll have to look it up yourself. Donohoe has a good voice and her songs are beautiful and silly and moving and a variety of other flattering adjectives, but I didn't care for her guitar/cittern/piano playing. She was a bit heavy handed (smash, smash, smash) and fat fingered (oops, oops, oops) on all three instruments. She was accompanied by a guy that was really good at the guitar and mandolin and pretty good at the fiddle. But her pounding on whatever instrument she had in front of her often drowned out his lead parts, so that was a bit disappointing. But other than that the show was great. She had a bunch of fun stories that she told that got everyone laughing, and she took some requests. And. . . I've blathered enough. It was good. Really fun. Let's move on.
I'm grateful for Combos (20).
I feel I should write about the concert I went to last night. Kitty Donohoe. It was good. Really fun. . . Nice description from the 'writer,' huh? She sings a lot of songs about Michigan and a lot of Celtic songs and a lot of traditional songs and a lot of traditional Celtic songs. The first hour of it was recorded for radio, but they never told the audience when it was going to be on, so if you want to listen, you'll have to look it up yourself. Donohoe has a good voice and her songs are beautiful and silly and moving and a variety of other flattering adjectives, but I didn't care for her guitar/cittern/piano playing. She was a bit heavy handed (smash, smash, smash) and fat fingered (oops, oops, oops) on all three instruments. She was accompanied by a guy that was really good at the guitar and mandolin and pretty good at the fiddle. But her pounding on whatever instrument she had in front of her often drowned out his lead parts, so that was a bit disappointing. But other than that the show was great. She had a bunch of fun stories that she told that got everyone laughing, and she took some requests. And. . . I've blathered enough. It was good. Really fun. Let's move on.
I'm grateful for Combos (20).
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Life lessons from Milton Bradley
I took one of my antifreakout pills first thing this morning. It was probably a good idea. I woke up fairly early and felt the arbitrary pressure of May crushing my chest. My book isn't done (2.1). Actually, for the book I'm having a hard time trying to make sense out of what I already have, what I need, and how it all fits together. I'd push the deadline back a month, but I fear that's a bit ambitious for this project. May was also the deadline for applying at MSU. I missed that. Kind of on purpose. I had such a horrible experience at MSU that I can't convince myself that I really want to spend two to four years back there. But it's still disappointing to me that I set this goal and didn't follow it. . . Plus there's the whole no job thing. Starting yet another month without a job. . . All this and I'm still sick. But the pill seemed to work. I didn't freakout. I didn't start crying. I read for awhile, dozing in and out during the process. Turns out, it's kind of a sleepy pill. Not bad though. I could've stayed awake if I had anything that I needed to be awake for.
For my birthday, I got Chutes and Ladders. Get it? Because of the ups and downs in my life. I thought it was funny. But once we got started thinking about Chutes and Ladders on that deeper level (please don't leave), we couldn't stop. It's a good game for kids because it teaches them that hard work (the ladders) is fun and helps you to get to the top and that laziness/goofoffishness (the chutes), while fun, won't get you anywhere. This morning I looked at the game board and took things one step further. There are other messages in Chutes and Ladders: None of the chutes dump you back at start. No matter how far you fall, you never have to start over. Also, there are some chutes that dump you off a couple of spaces away from a ladder that will take you even higher than you were before you fell. So sometimes setbacks put you in a position to reach a higher level of success. . . Yeah, sorry. This kind of thing happens when you give an English major too much time to think about things.
So, today was a chute day. But I did come up with my next step toward a greater level of doingstuffness. I'm going to buy some sort of planner, and before each day I will plan six or seven things to be done on that day. One of these things will always be writing related. One yoga. One running. At least one job. One guitar. Then at least one activity not related to any of these other activities. My reasoning is that if I decide before what I'm going to do during a particular day before the day actually happens, I won't waste so much time trying to figure out what to do that day. I'm bad at choosing things. I'm working on that. But until then, I'm going to prechoose things.
Is it me, or is there some kind of notrightness to this post? It feels off to me.
I'm grateful for the ladders (20).
For my birthday, I got Chutes and Ladders. Get it? Because of the ups and downs in my life. I thought it was funny. But once we got started thinking about Chutes and Ladders on that deeper level (please don't leave), we couldn't stop. It's a good game for kids because it teaches them that hard work (the ladders) is fun and helps you to get to the top and that laziness/goofoffishness (the chutes), while fun, won't get you anywhere. This morning I looked at the game board and took things one step further. There are other messages in Chutes and Ladders: None of the chutes dump you back at start. No matter how far you fall, you never have to start over. Also, there are some chutes that dump you off a couple of spaces away from a ladder that will take you even higher than you were before you fell. So sometimes setbacks put you in a position to reach a higher level of success. . . Yeah, sorry. This kind of thing happens when you give an English major too much time to think about things.
So, today was a chute day. But I did come up with my next step toward a greater level of doingstuffness. I'm going to buy some sort of planner, and before each day I will plan six or seven things to be done on that day. One of these things will always be writing related. One yoga. One running. At least one job. One guitar. Then at least one activity not related to any of these other activities. My reasoning is that if I decide before what I'm going to do during a particular day before the day actually happens, I won't waste so much time trying to figure out what to do that day. I'm bad at choosing things. I'm working on that. But until then, I'm going to prechoose things.
Is it me, or is there some kind of notrightness to this post? It feels off to me.
I'm grateful for the ladders (20).
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